Getting a clue

Well I'm making head way. I've decided to reconnect with things I had left behind that have always somehow seemed like they left a void. The goal is to see if i still have a passion for such things and to hopefully gain a little inspiration.

I've made contacts to volunteer as an assistant track coach at a local school. We'll see if they accept my offer next week. I will also try to do some other volunteer work with kids as well.

Also I continue to put time into my hobbies, new and old and am starting to feel the decompression happening. I think this is a good thing. Hopefully it'll all lead to a better direction, more sustainable, and more fulfilling.

The guitar playing is coming back, song writing flows much easier. I haven't ventured into writing yet, but the mood may strike soon. And I'm getting the hankering to resume running with spring approaching. I did venture out last week on a warm day and haven't lost much (not much to lose) in conditioning.

All in all, progress is good.

New Song

I'm working on a really nice song right now. I'm struggling with the second verse as I kinda like it just the way it is. So of course I'm easily distracted which led me to writing this song. It's a little more straight forward and to the point, no social commentary cleverly hidden in the guise of a love song as I'm apt to do. It's for all of us living alone.

At some point I'll get the technology to make a decent recording and include that but 'til then the lyrics will have to do. If you can envision it the verses are broken down into two segments the first is spoken word, dialogue I guess.


Untitled as of now.

An old friend calls to check on me, on how I've been. I tell him i don't really know I guess it's just i am how I am. "And do you think it's better living alone?" Oh, I don't know it's not really 'bout choices, it just had to be.

I get up when I want
Watch just what I like
And do just what I can to make this
feel alright.
i make the coffee just the way I like it
I stay up too late at night, and i
feel just good enough, this way,
but you know

I don't have to beg
I don't have to lie
I got back the part of me
that was pushed aside

I don't have to beg
I don't have to lie
I get back the part of me that
makes me feel alright.

"Don't you worry about dyin' alone?" I don't know man, I could find the love of my life and still die alone.

Maybe when it gets cold outside
maybe when it starts to rain
Maybe when I'm sick of myself
I might feel a little pain

and sometimes I can't sleep at night
I wonder if it'll be alright
But I guess it's just a little better this way,
because i

Don't have to beg,
I don't have to lie
i get back the part of me that
gets pushed aside
I Don't have to beg
I don't have to lie
I got back the part of me that
Makes me feel alright.

More catching up.

So I've reached the point that the holidays are behind me and I'm ready to resume my weight loss efforts. I hadn't been weighing myself as I didn't want to know the truth of the damage done. The last I had checked I had gained a little and inched up to about 208.

Monday I hop on the scale expecting the worse and I weigh....204! What a nice and unexpected surprise. So I'm left to ponder how that could be so. In the past when I've dropped off the Lo-Carb diet (or any diet) I've instantly ballooned. Why not this time?

The difference, IMHO. My basic diet never changed off of the Lo-Carb structure. Sure I cheated plenty, sure the local DQ is way better off than than before I moved to this area, but for the most part my underlying diet has stayed the same. That's a great find. It gives a lot of hope to being able to maintain a weight once I hit my goals.

Finding a new job. I'm really struggling with this one. I think in a sense if I had a career it'd be a lot easier. Simply target the industry and shoot. But I've flittered about so that I don't really have a 'go to' career option. In essence it's like finding my first job all over again. Pile onto that that the possiblility exists to really go in a completely different direction and possibly location. I feel pressure to make a great decision yet i don't know what a great decision might look like.

If only I had gone into teaching like I had intended. I'm such an idiot. It's the only thing I do well and have a passion for. The problem with a lack of conviction.

I have some time, but not alot. So I really need to get a plan together.

Has it really been that long.

Wow, it's been a month and a half since my last post. Been busy and distracted.

I discovered a new hobby that has been consuming most of my extra time. I'm starting to find better balance...and more time.

I have also decided to participate more fully in the economic disaster and have been laid off. So I'm unemployed. I'll be taking this week to get my resume together and to search out a direction and then I'll be trying to find another source of cash.

It's turning out to be quite the year of change for me, if I feel pressure and stress at all it's because like the ugly worm into the cocoon I've got to come out of this less ugly. Too many years growing up with positive thinking crap, survival is not enough.

I really do need a change. My direction of the last 20 years has been less than inspiring. I need some inspiration.

You'd think I'd have more to say, but I don't.

Great Super Bowl BTW