hey, she says,
I thought I'd find you here.
hey, she says,
can I sit down.
there's a little time before I have to go
I think we should talk
she says
she says we should talk.
Outside the rain falls down
outside the rain comes down.
and fills up the cracks,
outside the rain falls down
through this pane the rain falls down,
but I'm just as trapped
as my reflection in this window,
as my reflection in this life.
She says we should talk.
Hey she says,
I had a great time.
hey she says,
I think we should keep in touch.
I don't know when I'll call you,
I don't know when I'll be back.
she aint coming back.
outside the rain falls down
the rain keeps coming down
and runs down my back,
outside the rain comes down
through the pane the rain poors down,
but I'm just as trapped,
as my reflection in this window,
as my reflection in this life.
It aint coming back.
and the rain gathers together
and streams to the drains
and carries discards and washes clean,
the things that remain.
and hides the things we might have done.
and claims the people we might have become.
http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3457261
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
2009
The year has come to an end, or it soon will. It's time to recap.
From the outside looking in it might look like a terrible year for me. I started the year having just broke off my engagement to LeAnn and moving out of a beautiful house into a dingy mother in law basement apartment in the country. And then the new year started and within a week I found myself out of work.
So there I was, broke, out of work, and out of love. Seemingly in the middle of nowhere, alone (except for the Schnoodle). I suppose I should have been devastated, but yet somehow ending up at point zero seemed like a massive improvement. For the first time in my life there were no demands on me. I was in essence off the grid, except for the unemployment check deposited into my account every week. Peace finally had a chance.
Something I had always wanted to do was to live alone. Maybe not forever but at least for a while. I just wanted a chance to manage my own space and time. I think there is something grounding about having the whole thing and finding ways that work just for you. And it takes time. A year is certainly not even long enough, but it was nice. And so live alone I did. The only real problem with it is that I really like it. I'm not sure I want to ever change it. And so what does that do about the prospects of romance. "yeah, I love you but get the hell out of my house", just doesn't seem like a relationship builder. Anyway, the chance to live alone really gave me an opportunity to find what i like to do. So what did I find.
Outside of American Idol and a few selected sports things I found i really didn't like TV. I've always thought that but was always surrounded by them because of the people I lived with who insisted that TV background noise was not only acceptable but deeply desired. And so once I lived alone the TV never went on except when Maggie came to visit. Luckily that only meant that i got to watch Family Guy which might be the best show on TV, so it wasn't all bad. But when I was alone, the TV was off. Oliver the Schnoodle doesn't miss it either.
So that's the start to my year, alone and no TV. And so I had an empty slate. But what to do with it. At first I had no real way of passing time. I hadn't been reading, or playing guitar, or writing. So I needed something interesting to pass the time. Thus I discovered the wonderful world of online Texas Hold-em.
Back before I was unemployed gainfully working in the mind numbing world of fireplace sales in a construction led recession, i deposited a hundred bucks into an online account. The thinking was that I would play the free games (the $100 was required to open the account). I had never played the game except at a party once and the online is interactive with the other players and so I thought the interaction would be good for me. Poker players are mostly dicks, and so I was wrong about that, but i found the game fascinating. Every now and then I'd play a money game and lose. But I was learning. Eventually I dwindled the money down to nothing but i felt like I had finally learned enough to hold my own. And so I threw in another fifty bucks. And I did hold my own but the account slowly sank. Then after i had lost my job and figured that when the money was gone I was done with real money play i got down to my last of the money I had.
Up to this point I had been playing in ring games. This is the word for a traditional format like we're accustomed to where upon a bunch of guys are sitting around a table and play until they run out of money or have to go home. But I though before I ran out of money it would be fun to play in a tournament. And so I entered one. I had no idea about it. There were 36 people in this tourney and it showed some small winnings for a few places but the first place just showed entry. I thought it was a data entry error and they just forgot to put in the amount. Well it turned out in my very first tourney I won!! Now that was exciting. So I looked to see how much money i had won and my account hadn't gone up at all. So I played another tourney and asked some of the people about it. It turned out 'entry' was not a data error but it meant that I had won an entry into a larger tournament. Well alot of good that did me. Here I was hoping for some cash to keep playing these one and two dollar tournaments and all I had was an entry to a twenty-six dollar tournament that I'd likely not make any money on. Meanwhile my account dwindled to nothing and so all I had was this entry.
As fate would have it, a close person to the family had died and the wake and funeral were conflicting with the date of the tourney. So there i was with only an entry to a big tournament left of my poker career and I wouldn't even be able to play it. So i did a little checking and lo and behold, I didn't have to play it. I could withdraw from the tournament and get the entry money credited back to may account. Thus I had twenty six bucks to work with.
By this point I had learned enough to be OK. Not great but I could hold my own and didn't get abused by the better players too much. Thus the little bit of money I had left has sustained me for the entire year. As of today i have about fifty in the account. It's been as high as Eight hundred and as low as twelve bucks, but I've never run out. It's a funny game, every time I learn something new i lose. It takes me a while to learn how to apply the new techniques. Eventually I think I'll learn enough to actually make money at it. We'll see. For now it's good entertainment.
So that is how i passed my time. I went through periods when I did not play, I don't think I played at all between March and July. I've been through periods where I played seemingly 24/7, like in August when I ran my account up to the eight hundred mark and all the way down again. In the meantime when I was not playing poker or scouring the want ads for a job, i was slowly learning what I liked to do. Finding out what I had passions for.
The first thing I did was to start playing guitar again and writing. It came back a little slowly but it came back. I've always like creative processes, and so it was the first thing that I sought. As a part of my year of discovery I shucked off notions of what kind of music i should be writing and just let the music and lyrics write themselves. It's been a year long process to fully grasp this and let go of old ways but I think my inner voice is now in control of my writing process. And it's so much more talented than the outer one. Out of this my good overly opinionated friend Troy gave me a nice book of lyric writing. This spawned a rebirth of a discarded passion I once had.
I began writing poetry again. At first I was a bit reluctant as I'm not a big fan or poetry, but soon I found myself doing more and more of it until now I'm at the point I enjoy it quite a bit. It's a similar journey trying to get my outer self out of the way of the more talented inner voice, but I'm making progress. And liking it.
The next thing that happened is that I decided that I'd try to revisit another old passion i had and that was coaching. At one point in time after high school I started coaching. I did this for five years. I gave it up when my budding music career got in the way. And then jobs were always interfering. It's rather tough to have employment that leaves you free from 2-5P everyday. And so i took complete advantage of my unemployed status and volunteered at the local high school. For any of you who might be concerned, the unemployment rules allow for fifteen hours a week of volunteer work before it needs to be reported. Anyway, I loved it. I still found I had a passion for it and was good at it.
The next thing that happened was a rebirth of my book hoarding passion. I have always loved books. Not so much the reading of them as much as the thing of them. Maybe because when I was a kid a library was a sacred place you only got to go to on special days. There was no library in my elementary school. Instead we got field trips to the main in town school to go to the library. It was almost as special as stopping at the Dairy Queen but not quite to that level. So anyway I developed this weird love of all things pulpy, dusty, and musty. So I thought i might try my hand at buying and selling used books. I first tried this a couple of years ago but it freaked out my then fiance so bad I stopped. She had visions of stacks of books everywhere. And they were well founded fears as I now have over three thousand books stacked everywhere.
Out of this hobby, and I am trying to keep this at the hobby status, I learned much about what makes a book valuable and what doesn't. I also found a way to sell some of them. I have one spot in an antique store. I've only had it a few months and only one of those months has been profitable. I think I'm actually paying to sell my books. But i think I'm learning what will sell and what won't, so hopefully it'll be cash positive in time.
So there you have it. 2009 all wrapped up nicely. I came into the year with a clean slate and ill defined. I finished the year as a poker playing, book hoarding, track coaching, song writing poet.
And now for 2010.
From the outside looking in it might look like a terrible year for me. I started the year having just broke off my engagement to LeAnn and moving out of a beautiful house into a dingy mother in law basement apartment in the country. And then the new year started and within a week I found myself out of work.
So there I was, broke, out of work, and out of love. Seemingly in the middle of nowhere, alone (except for the Schnoodle). I suppose I should have been devastated, but yet somehow ending up at point zero seemed like a massive improvement. For the first time in my life there were no demands on me. I was in essence off the grid, except for the unemployment check deposited into my account every week. Peace finally had a chance.
Something I had always wanted to do was to live alone. Maybe not forever but at least for a while. I just wanted a chance to manage my own space and time. I think there is something grounding about having the whole thing and finding ways that work just for you. And it takes time. A year is certainly not even long enough, but it was nice. And so live alone I did. The only real problem with it is that I really like it. I'm not sure I want to ever change it. And so what does that do about the prospects of romance. "yeah, I love you but get the hell out of my house", just doesn't seem like a relationship builder. Anyway, the chance to live alone really gave me an opportunity to find what i like to do. So what did I find.
Outside of American Idol and a few selected sports things I found i really didn't like TV. I've always thought that but was always surrounded by them because of the people I lived with who insisted that TV background noise was not only acceptable but deeply desired. And so once I lived alone the TV never went on except when Maggie came to visit. Luckily that only meant that i got to watch Family Guy which might be the best show on TV, so it wasn't all bad. But when I was alone, the TV was off. Oliver the Schnoodle doesn't miss it either.
So that's the start to my year, alone and no TV. And so I had an empty slate. But what to do with it. At first I had no real way of passing time. I hadn't been reading, or playing guitar, or writing. So I needed something interesting to pass the time. Thus I discovered the wonderful world of online Texas Hold-em.
Back before I was unemployed gainfully working in the mind numbing world of fireplace sales in a construction led recession, i deposited a hundred bucks into an online account. The thinking was that I would play the free games (the $100 was required to open the account). I had never played the game except at a party once and the online is interactive with the other players and so I thought the interaction would be good for me. Poker players are mostly dicks, and so I was wrong about that, but i found the game fascinating. Every now and then I'd play a money game and lose. But I was learning. Eventually I dwindled the money down to nothing but i felt like I had finally learned enough to hold my own. And so I threw in another fifty bucks. And I did hold my own but the account slowly sank. Then after i had lost my job and figured that when the money was gone I was done with real money play i got down to my last of the money I had.
Up to this point I had been playing in ring games. This is the word for a traditional format like we're accustomed to where upon a bunch of guys are sitting around a table and play until they run out of money or have to go home. But I though before I ran out of money it would be fun to play in a tournament. And so I entered one. I had no idea about it. There were 36 people in this tourney and it showed some small winnings for a few places but the first place just showed entry. I thought it was a data entry error and they just forgot to put in the amount. Well it turned out in my very first tourney I won!! Now that was exciting. So I looked to see how much money i had won and my account hadn't gone up at all. So I played another tourney and asked some of the people about it. It turned out 'entry' was not a data error but it meant that I had won an entry into a larger tournament. Well alot of good that did me. Here I was hoping for some cash to keep playing these one and two dollar tournaments and all I had was an entry to a twenty-six dollar tournament that I'd likely not make any money on. Meanwhile my account dwindled to nothing and so all I had was this entry.
As fate would have it, a close person to the family had died and the wake and funeral were conflicting with the date of the tourney. So there i was with only an entry to a big tournament left of my poker career and I wouldn't even be able to play it. So i did a little checking and lo and behold, I didn't have to play it. I could withdraw from the tournament and get the entry money credited back to may account. Thus I had twenty six bucks to work with.
By this point I had learned enough to be OK. Not great but I could hold my own and didn't get abused by the better players too much. Thus the little bit of money I had left has sustained me for the entire year. As of today i have about fifty in the account. It's been as high as Eight hundred and as low as twelve bucks, but I've never run out. It's a funny game, every time I learn something new i lose. It takes me a while to learn how to apply the new techniques. Eventually I think I'll learn enough to actually make money at it. We'll see. For now it's good entertainment.
So that is how i passed my time. I went through periods when I did not play, I don't think I played at all between March and July. I've been through periods where I played seemingly 24/7, like in August when I ran my account up to the eight hundred mark and all the way down again. In the meantime when I was not playing poker or scouring the want ads for a job, i was slowly learning what I liked to do. Finding out what I had passions for.
The first thing I did was to start playing guitar again and writing. It came back a little slowly but it came back. I've always like creative processes, and so it was the first thing that I sought. As a part of my year of discovery I shucked off notions of what kind of music i should be writing and just let the music and lyrics write themselves. It's been a year long process to fully grasp this and let go of old ways but I think my inner voice is now in control of my writing process. And it's so much more talented than the outer one. Out of this my good overly opinionated friend Troy gave me a nice book of lyric writing. This spawned a rebirth of a discarded passion I once had.
I began writing poetry again. At first I was a bit reluctant as I'm not a big fan or poetry, but soon I found myself doing more and more of it until now I'm at the point I enjoy it quite a bit. It's a similar journey trying to get my outer self out of the way of the more talented inner voice, but I'm making progress. And liking it.
The next thing that happened is that I decided that I'd try to revisit another old passion i had and that was coaching. At one point in time after high school I started coaching. I did this for five years. I gave it up when my budding music career got in the way. And then jobs were always interfering. It's rather tough to have employment that leaves you free from 2-5P everyday. And so i took complete advantage of my unemployed status and volunteered at the local high school. For any of you who might be concerned, the unemployment rules allow for fifteen hours a week of volunteer work before it needs to be reported. Anyway, I loved it. I still found I had a passion for it and was good at it.
The next thing that happened was a rebirth of my book hoarding passion. I have always loved books. Not so much the reading of them as much as the thing of them. Maybe because when I was a kid a library was a sacred place you only got to go to on special days. There was no library in my elementary school. Instead we got field trips to the main in town school to go to the library. It was almost as special as stopping at the Dairy Queen but not quite to that level. So anyway I developed this weird love of all things pulpy, dusty, and musty. So I thought i might try my hand at buying and selling used books. I first tried this a couple of years ago but it freaked out my then fiance so bad I stopped. She had visions of stacks of books everywhere. And they were well founded fears as I now have over three thousand books stacked everywhere.
Out of this hobby, and I am trying to keep this at the hobby status, I learned much about what makes a book valuable and what doesn't. I also found a way to sell some of them. I have one spot in an antique store. I've only had it a few months and only one of those months has been profitable. I think I'm actually paying to sell my books. But i think I'm learning what will sell and what won't, so hopefully it'll be cash positive in time.
So there you have it. 2009 all wrapped up nicely. I came into the year with a clean slate and ill defined. I finished the year as a poker playing, book hoarding, track coaching, song writing poet.
And now for 2010.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone!!
Hope you all found a way to enjoy it and spend it with people you love.
Hope you all found a way to enjoy it and spend it with people you love.
Monday, December 14, 2009
A Dying Woman
This was a very sick woman I was looking at,
encountered in a late night hallway,
dimly lit from a night light appendaged to an ungrounded outlet.
She was hairless and I was unprepared for the sight of her without her wig, or hat.
Her bathrobe tightened around her as if it was the only thing holding her together.
And I was scurried out of the bathroom,
urgently interrupted
doing my best to comply.
It was the first and only time I had seen her in distress,
unable to hide how sick she was.
It was the first time I was aware of the limits of hope and redemption.
It was the last time I spoke to her.
I was fifteen then,
and the remnants of my failing childhood
no match for the cruel intricacies of death.
Stoicism too available to my budding adulthood looking for a hiding place.
And I used it well and disappeared.
encountered in a late night hallway,
dimly lit from a night light appendaged to an ungrounded outlet.
She was hairless and I was unprepared for the sight of her without her wig, or hat.
Her bathrobe tightened around her as if it was the only thing holding her together.
And I was scurried out of the bathroom,
urgently interrupted
doing my best to comply.
It was the first and only time I had seen her in distress,
unable to hide how sick she was.
It was the first time I was aware of the limits of hope and redemption.
It was the last time I spoke to her.
I was fifteen then,
and the remnants of my failing childhood
no match for the cruel intricacies of death.
Stoicism too available to my budding adulthood looking for a hiding place.
And I used it well and disappeared.
In the remaining days I was absent
though my footsteps be heard
and though I boarded the school bus
just outside the front door of the farm house.
I was not there.
I would never be there.
I could not be,
not then.
and I never talked to her after,
she was something else then
not my aunt, though she wanted to be.
A dying woman.
And me old enough to know what death was,
too young to know what it might mean.
And so it was that too soon after,
before I could come to terms with the
realities of impending death
it was no longer so.
The day of death,
the funeral,
just rituals and movements
things that had to be done.
the shock lost in rehearsal,
the pain lost in deferral.
Still today some thirty years later
I struggle to grasp the full reality of it all.
I see the changed lives,
the endless cascade of absence
the broken illusion of wholeness
forever shattering thoughts of what might have been, exposing the deficiencies of what remained,
mostly exposing my own incompleteness,
and the lost opportunities of those last days,
because of the fear of what I could not see,
and the truth of what I could.
And though she was courageous
covering her pain as best she could from those who loved her,
and though I only saw her distress in one brief encounter in a dimly lit hallway,
because of my empty spaces, and broken completion,
she is always with me,
always waiting with absolution,
which I will never ask for.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Road to nowhere
In progress. And no music yet. A little backwards from my usual writing which occurs with guitar in hand. I may offer this up to one of my guitarist friends to find the accompany, tho I do have the melody. The bridge lack meter, but I'll tweak it once I marry it to some music.
Traveling down the road to nowhere
packed my bags walked out the back door,
I'm on my way
gone today.
Tried my best to hang on main street,
trade the songs that wouldn't buy the things,
that replace the soul
so i had to go
So maybe I'm on the road to nowhere
but it's better than already being there
now I'm testifyin'
I almost died tryin'
and maybe I will never make it,
but I've learned I can take it,
if i just keep moving
then I'm never losing
Cause I've been beat down
and pushed around
Now I'm going back
to the lost and found
where my dreams are waiting
though they're old and faded
I can't lose now
that I have found
I'll always win
with my feet on the ground
if I listen hard enough
if I follow true enough
It's hard to walk a path lonely
and I don't know if it always will be
but it the only way
they can ever choose me
when i think about who tried to save me
and lost the battle and couldn't change me
i love them still
I remember them all
it's hard to love when your heart is empty
it's hard to believe in what they see
cause if it ain't me,
how can i believe
Cause I've been beat down
and pushed around
And now I'm going back to the lost and found
where my dreams are waiting
though they're old and faded.
i won't lose now
that i have found
I'll always win
with my feet on the ground
if I listen hard enough
if I follow true enough
As long as I remember I've been trying to fake it
playing the game and never win
I just don't care if I ever make it,
because as long as I'm on my own path
I'm always just where I ought to be.
Traveling on the road to nowhere
made up my mind I'm going to stay there
It's alright with me
Walking free.....
Chorus to fade
Traveling down the road to nowhere
packed my bags walked out the back door,
I'm on my way
gone today.
Tried my best to hang on main street,
trade the songs that wouldn't buy the things,
that replace the soul
so i had to go
So maybe I'm on the road to nowhere
but it's better than already being there
now I'm testifyin'
I almost died tryin'
and maybe I will never make it,
but I've learned I can take it,
if i just keep moving
then I'm never losing
Cause I've been beat down
and pushed around
Now I'm going back
to the lost and found
where my dreams are waiting
though they're old and faded
I can't lose now
that I have found
I'll always win
with my feet on the ground
if I listen hard enough
if I follow true enough
It's hard to walk a path lonely
and I don't know if it always will be
but it the only way
they can ever choose me
when i think about who tried to save me
and lost the battle and couldn't change me
i love them still
I remember them all
it's hard to love when your heart is empty
it's hard to believe in what they see
cause if it ain't me,
how can i believe
Cause I've been beat down
and pushed around
And now I'm going back to the lost and found
where my dreams are waiting
though they're old and faded.
i won't lose now
that i have found
I'll always win
with my feet on the ground
if I listen hard enough
if I follow true enough
As long as I remember I've been trying to fake it
playing the game and never win
I just don't care if I ever make it,
because as long as I'm on my own path
I'm always just where I ought to be.
Traveling on the road to nowhere
made up my mind I'm going to stay there
It's alright with me
Walking free.....
Chorus to fade
Saturday, December 5, 2009
religous experience
Angels are around us
they come unexpectedly
they nourish the soul
the spirit
and give us life,
And so it was this day an angel came to me.
And she was beautiful, more lovely than any rock goddess.
And I felt the music, and she asked me to pray.
you do not argue against beauties deserved capitulation.
and I was glad for my surrender.
and she knealt and pulling me down by the arm
I melted to the touch and opened myself.
And she prayed, and I prayed.
as her lips moved
I watched her mouth and
caught glimpses of her tongue
and I could see her connecting
her closed eyes touching someone, somewhere
and my eyes touching hers, following down her nose,
back to her lips down her chin and
as far down the vee in her neckline as I thought my eyes could steal.
She sighed as she achieved ecstasy in grace,
as did I.
As she whispered "my father, my lord" she lifted her closed eyes heavenward
and I saw the beauty of her neck gently flow to such a delicate and strong back.
and I followed it down to the place you stop, before you get to go too far
and as I envisioned my hands there,
so perfectly pulling her towards me
just enough
to feel her resistance and her desire at the same time
she whispered something about Jesus, and so did I.
and then her prayer was done, but not mine.
and she said "isn't it great how connecting with heaven can nourish us?"
and I agreed.
they come unexpectedly
they nourish the soul
the spirit
and give us life,
And so it was this day an angel came to me.
And she was beautiful, more lovely than any rock goddess.
And I felt the music, and she asked me to pray.
you do not argue against beauties deserved capitulation.
and I was glad for my surrender.
and she knealt and pulling me down by the arm
I melted to the touch and opened myself.
And she prayed, and I prayed.
as her lips moved
I watched her mouth and
caught glimpses of her tongue
and I could see her connecting
her closed eyes touching someone, somewhere
and my eyes touching hers, following down her nose,
back to her lips down her chin and
as far down the vee in her neckline as I thought my eyes could steal.
She sighed as she achieved ecstasy in grace,
as did I.
As she whispered "my father, my lord" she lifted her closed eyes heavenward
and I saw the beauty of her neck gently flow to such a delicate and strong back.
and I followed it down to the place you stop, before you get to go too far
and as I envisioned my hands there,
so perfectly pulling her towards me
just enough
to feel her resistance and her desire at the same time
she whispered something about Jesus, and so did I.
and then her prayer was done, but not mine.
and she said "isn't it great how connecting with heaven can nourish us?"
and I agreed.
sorry, it had to be said.
nothing goes away
and our obese souls trudge
until the fat oozes and freezes
and we're stuck .
Once we danced because we might be great
and then we danced to remember.
and now we don't dance at all.
unhealthy, constricted veins
and a tired heart, and idle feet.
repurposed dance shoes,
and no beat.
and our obese souls trudge
until the fat oozes and freezes
and we're stuck .
Once we danced because we might be great
and then we danced to remember.
and now we don't dance at all.
unhealthy, constricted veins
and a tired heart, and idle feet.
repurposed dance shoes,
and no beat.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Always the highway.
She said,
"I know I should be smiling
even though times are hard
but I don't know if my brain works that way.
When none of my beginnings
can find happy endings
and now I can't even get paid.
It's high time I questioned
this crap that I've been given
and why I'm living this life
It's seem all my workin
didn't add up to nuthin'
they say I'm better off this way?
Why do I fight so hard
to go nowhere?
If it always leads
back to here
does it matter where I go
I might as well
close my eyes
and follow the sun
If life always
leads me back to here
then I'll leave it to the breeze
and if i find myself
here again
and not free
There's always the highway
always the highway."
So she sold all her extras
and counted all her pennies
and thought about what made her smile
If she could get closer
to what she'd been missing
it wouldn't matter if it took awhile.
If each step is sweeter
I know I'll be happier
but i better not wait too long .
There's a path that awaits me,
and you might think I'm crazy
but I'm trying to hear my song"
If you listen hard enough
to your soul.
If life always leads
back to here
does it matter where I go?
might as well close my eyes
and follow the sun.
If life always leads me
back to here,
then I'll leave it to the breeze,
and if I find myself here again
and not free
There's always the highway,
always the highway.
"I know I should be smiling
even though times are hard
but I don't know if my brain works that way.
When none of my beginnings
can find happy endings
and now I can't even get paid.
It's high time I questioned
this crap that I've been given
and why I'm living this life
It's seem all my workin
didn't add up to nuthin'
they say I'm better off this way?
Why do I fight so hard
to go nowhere?
If it always leads
back to here
does it matter where I go
I might as well
close my eyes
and follow the sun
If life always
leads me back to here
then I'll leave it to the breeze
and if i find myself
here again
and not free
There's always the highway
always the highway."
So she sold all her extras
and counted all her pennies
and thought about what made her smile
If she could get closer
to what she'd been missing
it wouldn't matter if it took awhile.
If each step is sweeter
I know I'll be happier
but i better not wait too long .
There's a path that awaits me,
and you might think I'm crazy
but I'm trying to hear my song"
If you listen hard enough
to your soul.
If life always leads
back to here
does it matter where I go?
might as well close my eyes
and follow the sun.
If life always leads me
back to here,
then I'll leave it to the breeze,
and if I find myself here again
and not free
There's always the highway,
always the highway.
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