So now you're free.
You took off like a bird with the door wide open.
Free
I like the way you walk in a room,
like a dance waiting for the moon,
captivated as it begins,
I want to see you spin.
I want to take it all in.
She's got a look that
writes the songs,
you can't sing but sing along,
as perfect as her bedroom door
and then she smiles
and she's so much more
Stay with me
Stay with me
Love only me.
world forgive me.
So now you're free.
You took off like a bird with the door wide open.
Free.
But what does that make me?
There's something wrong with the night
somebody turned out the lights,
see the stars fade one by one,
Look around,
now look what I've done.
Stay with me
Stay with me,
Love only me,
world forgive me.
Free.
You took off like a bird with the door wide open..
Free.
Don't want to be your cage,
don't want to be your cage,
don't want to be your cage,
don't want to be your cage,
And now she flies,
and I watch her blue skies
find the moon,
find the stars,
find my heart.
and every prayer is forgotten
and answers tucked away,
and every second is June
and every heart beat is new
and she turns into an angel
and slowly starts to spin,
And I'm in love all over again.
In love all over again.
but I won't let her back in.
Free
Like a bird with the door wide open.
http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3455476
Friday, February 26, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
A different place.
I'm at least half way done with this life. It's strange to know that, and be OK with it. When I turned 25 it felt a bit traumatic, like my youth was over. Christ I was half way to fifty!!!! And fifty was old. And now as I creep closer to fifty i don't feel so old. Sure I can't run as fast, and my body screams when I try, and yes the signs are all there, but my thoughts are new and better and more defined than ever before. Somehow despite the aging shell I feel younger and more vibrant than ever.
It's sad in a way that in our youth we live from the outside in, and everything we search for can only be accomplished living inside out. Some never learn, and most of us stumble upon it so late leaving us with too many 'if only's. How much wasted energies and opportunities were there trying to change who we are to fit what we are told we are, or should be. What might have been accomplished if we had lived authentically from the start. Lessons learned late. The good news is that it is never too late.
We are who we have become, our past is always now. What we have done are our memories. Memories can only exist in our hearts today. From that perspective we are always at the beginning. We have only now until the unknown. Every moment is truly an opportunity to make the rest of your life the best ever. In this way we never fail. We only begin anew. Every blink, breath, thought, touch and emotion is a new beginning. We are in a constant state of rebirth and renewal.
And this all leads here. It seems as if for most of my life I've been burdened by what I ought to be doing. That somehow there were roles, implied dreams and goals every male ought to have. The problem was, I didn't have them. But I firmly believed that I should have them. I tried, but in the end I always failed. The aspirations I thought I should have had just didn't take. I really didn't care if I succeeded. The prize meant nothing to me. Faking it just didn't work.
I was in a constant state of failure, it seems the furthur along I got the worse the over riding sense of failure and dissatisfaction in my life was. And indeed I was a failure. God made me a little different than others. Why? Who knows, some kind of a sick twisted joke I'm sure. But non the less, I was different. Moving in the direction I was headed was taking me further and further away from who I was, I was failing at being me. And in a big way. I was becoming nothing, meaningless, and useless.
But luck happened. My failure at being me imploded my relationship I was in, leaving me single. I was also laid off. I had time. I also stumbled upon a good book written quite a while ago. Sometimes you need to hear what you already know from someone else to accept it's truth. In this case the book did this for me. It convinced me I needed to stand still for a while, really take some time to figure out the truth of who I was. That no path could be successful without a starting point. Without the knowledge of who I was and what was important to me, I had no starting point and in truth no ending point. I would just wander, and never approach anything meaningful. The next point it drove home, is to concentrate on being who I am and let the path create itself. If I do a good job at living in the moment. If i do a good job bing true to myself the next footprint will appear, I merely would have to place my foot in it's imprint.
I believe this, if you allow yourself to grow the world will make room for you. It will clear a path for you. You are needed, but only as you are. And only you can discover who you truly are. And only you can find the courage to speak a little louder, a little more confidently and contribute as yourself and not some by product waste of the big machine. If you can do this the world will make room for you, because it needs you. It created you to be who you are, because it needs you to be. This world has gone to hell, because too few of us lack the courage to speak in our own voices, act with our own hearts and thoughts. And walk the path that only we can walk.
It's sad in a way that in our youth we live from the outside in, and everything we search for can only be accomplished living inside out. Some never learn, and most of us stumble upon it so late leaving us with too many 'if only's. How much wasted energies and opportunities were there trying to change who we are to fit what we are told we are, or should be. What might have been accomplished if we had lived authentically from the start. Lessons learned late. The good news is that it is never too late.
We are who we have become, our past is always now. What we have done are our memories. Memories can only exist in our hearts today. From that perspective we are always at the beginning. We have only now until the unknown. Every moment is truly an opportunity to make the rest of your life the best ever. In this way we never fail. We only begin anew. Every blink, breath, thought, touch and emotion is a new beginning. We are in a constant state of rebirth and renewal.
And this all leads here. It seems as if for most of my life I've been burdened by what I ought to be doing. That somehow there were roles, implied dreams and goals every male ought to have. The problem was, I didn't have them. But I firmly believed that I should have them. I tried, but in the end I always failed. The aspirations I thought I should have had just didn't take. I really didn't care if I succeeded. The prize meant nothing to me. Faking it just didn't work.
I was in a constant state of failure, it seems the furthur along I got the worse the over riding sense of failure and dissatisfaction in my life was. And indeed I was a failure. God made me a little different than others. Why? Who knows, some kind of a sick twisted joke I'm sure. But non the less, I was different. Moving in the direction I was headed was taking me further and further away from who I was, I was failing at being me. And in a big way. I was becoming nothing, meaningless, and useless.
But luck happened. My failure at being me imploded my relationship I was in, leaving me single. I was also laid off. I had time. I also stumbled upon a good book written quite a while ago. Sometimes you need to hear what you already know from someone else to accept it's truth. In this case the book did this for me. It convinced me I needed to stand still for a while, really take some time to figure out the truth of who I was. That no path could be successful without a starting point. Without the knowledge of who I was and what was important to me, I had no starting point and in truth no ending point. I would just wander, and never approach anything meaningful. The next point it drove home, is to concentrate on being who I am and let the path create itself. If I do a good job at living in the moment. If i do a good job bing true to myself the next footprint will appear, I merely would have to place my foot in it's imprint.
I believe this, if you allow yourself to grow the world will make room for you. It will clear a path for you. You are needed, but only as you are. And only you can discover who you truly are. And only you can find the courage to speak a little louder, a little more confidently and contribute as yourself and not some by product waste of the big machine. If you can do this the world will make room for you, because it needs you. It created you to be who you are, because it needs you to be. This world has gone to hell, because too few of us lack the courage to speak in our own voices, act with our own hearts and thoughts. And walk the path that only we can walk.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Bigger Than You
I try to avoid political songs these days, but being forced to watch Fox News on my work breaks keeps it in my head. And this popped out. Music is done, and arrangement thought out so I may do a quick acoustic thing just to get it down so I can move on. So you may be able to have an accompanying song relatively soon.
Bigger Than You
Get on board and ride my train,
I don't care if you're insane
I just want to fill up this train...
Get on Board
Don't give a damn if I'm going your way,
Don't give a damn what I have to say
I just need you to ride my train,
get on board.
When my whistle blows through your town,
Don't think I'll slow down,
If you don't get out of my way,
your better learn how to pray.
At night when you lay awake,
and hope for a better day,
I'm going to take all I can from you,
you better learn how to beg.
My dreams are big, and yours are small.
I don't think they count at all,
I can put mine in the bank,
my dreams are big.
My dreams are big, much bigger than you.
I don't care what you say you can do,
if you don't make money like I do.
My dreams are big.
When your dollar is your power,
and you're working by the hour,
when no one speaks for you,
you better learn how to beg.
When all the votes are finally cast,
and your hopes come in last,
when no one speaks for you,
you better learn how to pray.
My love of money is bigger than you,
my love of power is bigger than you,
my dreams are bigger than you,
get on board.
My love of money is bigger than you,
my love of power is bigger than you,
my dreams are bigger than you,
get on board.
Hello teacher, hello mother, hello driver, miner, father,
hello police man, mechanic farmer, I'm bigger than you.
Hello plumber, hello postman, tradesman, nurse and hello fireman,
hello worker on overtime, I'm bigger than you.
Hello hungry little baby, and the preacher who tried to save me,
hello soldier who fights for me, I'm bigger than you.
Hello watchman, hello grandma, hello teller, and old yeller, hello grandpa, hello sister,
I'm bigger than you.
Hello coach, hello student, hello singer, writer, artist, hello future, hello tomorrow
I'm bigger than you.
http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3387792
Bigger Than You
Get on board and ride my train,
I don't care if you're insane
I just want to fill up this train...
Get on Board
Don't give a damn if I'm going your way,
Don't give a damn what I have to say
I just need you to ride my train,
get on board.
When my whistle blows through your town,
Don't think I'll slow down,
If you don't get out of my way,
your better learn how to pray.
At night when you lay awake,
and hope for a better day,
I'm going to take all I can from you,
you better learn how to beg.
My dreams are big, and yours are small.
I don't think they count at all,
I can put mine in the bank,
my dreams are big.
My dreams are big, much bigger than you.
I don't care what you say you can do,
if you don't make money like I do.
My dreams are big.
When your dollar is your power,
and you're working by the hour,
when no one speaks for you,
you better learn how to beg.
When all the votes are finally cast,
and your hopes come in last,
when no one speaks for you,
you better learn how to pray.
My love of money is bigger than you,
my love of power is bigger than you,
my dreams are bigger than you,
get on board.
My love of money is bigger than you,
my love of power is bigger than you,
my dreams are bigger than you,
get on board.
Hello teacher, hello mother, hello driver, miner, father,
hello police man, mechanic farmer, I'm bigger than you.
Hello plumber, hello postman, tradesman, nurse and hello fireman,
hello worker on overtime, I'm bigger than you.
Hello hungry little baby, and the preacher who tried to save me,
hello soldier who fights for me, I'm bigger than you.
Hello watchman, hello grandma, hello teller, and old yeller, hello grandpa, hello sister,
I'm bigger than you.
Hello coach, hello student, hello singer, writer, artist, hello future, hello tomorrow
I'm bigger than you.
http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3387792
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
A couple of extra minutes.
I'm waiting for the schnoodle to come home before I head off to work. Work is going well, it seems like a great place to work. Hopefully they'll hire me on permanently at some point. The hours haven't even been that big of an adjustment as it was so close to the ones I was keeping anyway.
The music is fun, I'm slowly figuring out this recording thing. It's a funny deal though, every error gets exposed so much in recording. I make way too many of them and have way too little patience to go back and correct them. But I'm getting better at that even. On the latest I made some nice strides in that regard. However in the end I got tired and just threw it out. The vocals were getting worse each time. I should have just did them a different day, but fatigue won.
The biggest thing I'm focused on with the recording is trying to find ways for the sound to be OK on small media like PC speakers and head phones. The sound is so different from one to the other. The higher frequencies jump out where before they were buried. For some reason vocals and lead guitar seem to jump out and you lose the bass guitar and rhythm guitars in contrast. So I've been trying to figure out how to counter that effect. It does make a worse recording on the stereo and car though. I've recently learned that in the real world they have several mixes they release to the different media. There will be a radio mix, and ITunes mix, a CD mix etc. So somehow little ole me is suppose to deal with that. I just want to write songs.
Time to go.
The music is fun, I'm slowly figuring out this recording thing. It's a funny deal though, every error gets exposed so much in recording. I make way too many of them and have way too little patience to go back and correct them. But I'm getting better at that even. On the latest I made some nice strides in that regard. However in the end I got tired and just threw it out. The vocals were getting worse each time. I should have just did them a different day, but fatigue won.
The biggest thing I'm focused on with the recording is trying to find ways for the sound to be OK on small media like PC speakers and head phones. The sound is so different from one to the other. The higher frequencies jump out where before they were buried. For some reason vocals and lead guitar seem to jump out and you lose the bass guitar and rhythm guitars in contrast. So I've been trying to figure out how to counter that effect. It does make a worse recording on the stereo and car though. I've recently learned that in the real world they have several mixes they release to the different media. There will be a radio mix, and ITunes mix, a CD mix etc. So somehow little ole me is suppose to deal with that. I just want to write songs.
Time to go.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Song update.
Well I'm having a load of fun with my new toy. It does tend to eat songs though. I lose a little control of the song as I fiddle with them and soon I've created something less than what I started with. It's all a learning process. My biggest problem is a terrible lack of patience. I just don't like working through the recording process and getting things just right like you need to. I really just want to write the songs and have them magicaly appear produced beautifully. So I either have to keep things simple or gain some patience. ugh.
The good news is that people are actually listening to my songs. A funny world it is. I think I'm starting to top out now on the Reverb Nation Charts. But I did hit #6 in my local area, and #10 in the bigger metro area. I think that's pretty cool.
And if you do visit my reverb nation page don't forget to click on Mark Stein's page. I usually do quite a bit with his lyrics. I'll link them if I have the lyrics posted, otherwise just jump over to his page when you're done with mine. You can find him in either my fans list or recommended artist list on Reverb Nation.
The good news is that people are actually listening to my songs. A funny world it is. I think I'm starting to top out now on the Reverb Nation Charts. But I did hit #6 in my local area, and #10 in the bigger metro area. I think that's pretty cool.
And if you do visit my reverb nation page don't forget to click on Mark Stein's page. I usually do quite a bit with his lyrics. I'll link them if I have the lyrics posted, otherwise just jump over to his page when you're done with mine. You can find him in either my fans list or recommended artist list on Reverb Nation.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Everything is going to change.
This will probably be the next song I will record. It's a little ambitious vocally, but it's a decent song so hopefully I can pull it off.
Everything is Going to Change
She needs a new song to sing
these beat up words
don't seem to mean anything
In this broken world
you kill yourself, 'til you
don't mean anything
And she don't know
everything is going to change
And she don't know
everything is going to change
She's just a quiet girl
and wondering why
anyone would hear her sing
But life goes by,
and she wonders why
god makes mistakes like her,
and she don't know
everything is going to change
And she don't know
everything is going to change
But she doesn't want to be like them
But she doesn't want to be alone
If you wanna be the singer
the star of your show,
there's something you need to know
but all she needs to be
all she really needs,
she just needs to be,
a little bit louder.
Just a little bit louder.
she wanted to be on her own
with her own rules
and give as much as she could
she's like no one else
and she's so much less
if she gives into the fools
And she don't know
everything is going to change
And she don't know
everything is going to change.
http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3360044
Everything is Going to Change
She needs a new song to sing
these beat up words
don't seem to mean anything
In this broken world
you kill yourself, 'til you
don't mean anything
And she don't know
everything is going to change
And she don't know
everything is going to change
She's just a quiet girl
and wondering why
anyone would hear her sing
But life goes by,
and she wonders why
god makes mistakes like her,
and she don't know
everything is going to change
And she don't know
everything is going to change
But she doesn't want to be like them
But she doesn't want to be alone
If you wanna be the singer
the star of your show,
there's something you need to know
but all she needs to be
all she really needs,
she just needs to be,
a little bit louder.
Just a little bit louder.
she wanted to be on her own
with her own rules
and give as much as she could
she's like no one else
and she's so much less
if she gives into the fools
And she don't know
everything is going to change
And she don't know
everything is going to change.
http://www.reverbnation.com/play_now/song_3360044
Thursday, February 4, 2010
watchya going to do.
I've been down so long
I'm almost ready to go
A pretty little thing I want to know
she tells she like my smile
give me a call we can
talk for a while.
Its not on my way baby
but watchya going to do?
I pick her up
to have a real good time,
I treat her real nice,
then some real good wine.
I'm just about to try romance,
I like you baby, but no chance
home alone baby,
but watchya going to do.
Oh well
it don't matter a bit to me
Oh no
I'm not about to say pretty please
Sliding just a little
and I see her again
says she wants to
be my friend.
well I guess I need something to do
we can go out but it's up to you
another cup of coffee
whatchya going to do?
I pick her up
to have a real good time
another dinner,
more good wine
just about to try romance
she says, hold it baby
no chance
home alone baby
whatchya going to do.
Oh, well
it don't matter to me
oh well
I'm not about to say
pretty please
I see her again
she wants to know where I've been
I lay it out clear
she aint my kind of a friend
I tell her I'm staying away from you
I got better things to do
she says take me home
watchya going to do.
Well she looks so sweet
but not ready to go
I pull her in close
take it a little slow.
I run my hands through her hair,
and give a little tug
and she says, mmmm...
feels like love.
She says its love
and it's been three weeks
she's over every night
I need some sleep
but I can sleep when I'm eighty four,
right now she wants a little more
I might not make it
whatchya going to do.
Oh well,
it don't matter to me
Oh well,
I'm not about to say pretty please.
I'm almost ready to go
A pretty little thing I want to know
she tells she like my smile
give me a call we can
talk for a while.
Its not on my way baby
but watchya going to do?
I pick her up
to have a real good time,
I treat her real nice,
then some real good wine.
I'm just about to try romance,
I like you baby, but no chance
home alone baby,
but watchya going to do.
Oh well
it don't matter a bit to me
Oh no
I'm not about to say pretty please
Sliding just a little
and I see her again
says she wants to
be my friend.
well I guess I need something to do
we can go out but it's up to you
another cup of coffee
whatchya going to do?
I pick her up
to have a real good time
another dinner,
more good wine
just about to try romance
she says, hold it baby
no chance
home alone baby
whatchya going to do.
Oh, well
it don't matter to me
oh well
I'm not about to say
pretty please
I see her again
she wants to know where I've been
I lay it out clear
she aint my kind of a friend
I tell her I'm staying away from you
I got better things to do
she says take me home
watchya going to do.
Well she looks so sweet
but not ready to go
I pull her in close
take it a little slow.
I run my hands through her hair,
and give a little tug
and she says, mmmm...
feels like love.
She says its love
and it's been three weeks
she's over every night
I need some sleep
but I can sleep when I'm eighty four,
right now she wants a little more
I might not make it
whatchya going to do.
Oh well,
it don't matter to me
Oh well,
I'm not about to say pretty please.
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