Turning into Andy

So slowly I've been turning into Andy Kaufman. I find much humor in situation where I don't have an audience. Saying and doing things in the wrong situation so that people don't know what to do is a real hoot. And totally inappropriate.

In some respects I've always been this way, but as I age, or become more psychotic however you prefer it called, I get much bolder and care less about dancing with our language. I kind of took a turn a few years ago when fast food drive through order takers would get overly friendly. Or more familiar than they should be. Not that I mind, it just gives me an 'in'. So if they say something like, "how's it going today?" through the speaker, I'll tell them and proceed to start a conversation with them. It of course makes them very uncomfortable and totally makes my day.

Or for some reason the girls taking orders at the pizza place up the road when getting my name will always say. "can I have your name?" I usually have one of two replies, if they have a name tag that says say 'Jennifer', i might say "well i think Jennifer is a much better name for you but if you want to use mine go right ahead." Or maybe I'll say, "no, i need it for myself.". They never get it, and the blank stare is priceless. But only to me.

My newest one is my favorite. When I go shopping I try to find that one woman who thought she could sneak out of the house and quick grab something from the grocery store looking as bad as possible in her worst grubby clothes. If I'm sure the last thought to cross her mind when she left her house is, "god, I hope I don't run into anyone I know!!" That's my target. I then proceed to get in the same aisle as her and check her out a little just so enough so she knows I'm checking her out. I'm sure this will back fire on me at some point, but right now the apparent mortification is priceless.