Off the grid.

It's constantly amazing how many people just want to be left the f*** alone. Not that they want to be alone. They just feel tremendous pressure to be apart of civilization and fulfill some acceptable role in it. Yet they don't like it. motivated and driven people seem more and more a rarity. It seems that there are such talented and interesting people completely wasted in some corporate endeavor.

As time goes on I see less and less value in corporate affairs. We're all channeled like cattle into the freight cars. And the slaughterhouse is awaitin'. When did we get to the point where we stopped working to satisfy the needs of people and started working to satisfy the needs of wall street. Somethings is seriously amiss.

Think about what you need, and what you want, then think how truly necessary all the chrome, glass, metal and fake stone is really involved in bringing those things to you. If you're not following along let me clarify. you need a farmer, but do you really need everything that goes into all the products and packaging in Cub foods. I get the Ben and Jerry's argument. So there are problems.

Have we built something so monstrous that it no longer serves us but feeds off of us for it's own nourishment. Is capitalism sucking the very soul out of those it should be serving.

but that I think leads me to a bit of hope. The giant house of cards has really inflated the amount of money required to participate in this house of cards. There in lies the opportunity. I think it might be easier than ever to chuck it all away, to not necessarily go off the grid, but choose the part you want and minimize the demands on you, and maximize the joy and meaning in your life.

How to do it. Well, taking cues from surfwise, you have to understand what you're doing and make the hard choices that support what you want. You have to either be debt free, or be willing to walk away from it. You have to get rid of the extra demands for cash, media things. You have to go green and buy second hand. You can get down to a life that demands very little cash, and can be supported by any endeavor that you enjoy.

If you look at things, as the demands for cash are growing, whats necessary is shrinking. You can spend an enormous amount on media services or you can now be connected quite cheaply if you want. if you're not a phone chatter, pay for cell service can be under 20$ a month. You don't even need that. Decent Internet connectivity is 25$ or less. So you're plugged in for less than 50$ a month. Transportation --Get rid of the car. Live by where you work or play, and either be totally in on a suburban location or use pub transport

I can get by on less than $100 for food. So you need a place to live. You can go real cheap if you want. Or maybe that's where you spend your dough. But the point is, if you really want, now more than ever you can drop out and make it on very little.

I think we will see more and more people opting for this.

Sticking Out

I'm unique. Not saying it's good. It just is. But I've never stood out becuase of it. You had to get in my space a little to experience it. Other than that I've meshed in quite well. And that's the way I like it.

Now, I'm getting older and I find my self single again. I like being by myself, on my own. Always wanted it, never had it. Yet at the same time, it's a very unnatural situation for me. I've never gone more than a few weeks at a time without a woman close by. Luckily it's always been fairly easy for me to meet people. So here I am pretty much where I'd like to be right now and yet I find myself gravitating towards the online match sites. Mostly out of boredom, even though I know where that leads. I think I'd really like to just have a girlfriend. But is that even possible these days?

So while I would really like to meet some people to hang out with and maybe even a little romance type thing, I don't think I know how to kinda be involved with someone. You see it in the movies, but does that really ever happen. Now it's worse, every woman has a plan. Nothing can just be. I grew up with this weird notion that love was a living thing in and of itself. Much like creating a baby. Throw in a little love juice and an egg, incubate a little and something new and unlike anything before emerges. Nope, not anymore. Now, you do this, I'll do that, we'll get married here at this point in time and if we work really hard at it maybe it won't suck so bad. Well the first plan made it suck and aborted the real possibilities.

So I'm stuck, wanting something that should naturally exist, cursed with what seems to naturally occur from that. nature blows.

And for the first time in my life, I'm actually worried that I may never find someone. Not because they're not out there, but because I think I'm running out of time. There's something that seems to happen to women at my age, that I'm not at all attracted to. Yes, I know, I'm shallow. But it's hard to imagine a connection without that attraction.

I can't accept my age, and the women I'm suppose to want. I can't accept what is prescribed. But every day that passes reduces options, possibilities.

In my brain I'm not 45. I don't see the world from the eyes of a 45 year old. But yet I am closer to 50 than 40. People my age are old. I am not old. I'm starting to stick out.